Another Kaleidoscope
by Ouroboros Snake
Summary: A promise to be a hero. That was it. The one thing that caused him to walk on a different path. For on that day in the park he didn't meet a perverted old man. Instead he found... Kaleidostick Ruby! Well, he's going to be a hero alright. Just not in the way that he expected...
1. Chapter 1

**Episode one: I wanted to be a hero, not a magical girl!**

The park was full of people of all sizes. Kids playing around, teenagers hanging out in groups, and adults just relaxing in groups.

The kid we're focusing on, however, was different.

Nine years old with messy brown hair and empty eyes. His blank gaze directed upwards as he payed on the park bench, like a broken man. It's a wonder how such a kid could get this gaze isn't it? Well, the answer was simpler then you might expect.

"Irina..." He mumbled out.

His best friend had moved away. Plain and simple.

He could still picture the events of a couple of hours ago in his mind. The two of them hugging each other as tears flowed like rivers out of there eyes, but even that memory was fading like the rest.

It just... wasn't fair. Why did her dad's job have to make Irina move? Why couldn't he just stay with him? It would be easy!

Yet his parents told him otherwise, and he was forced to watch his best friend leave him. It felt like the bond that was always there was trying to be severed, but he held onto it like a life line.

And that led him here, alone on this bench where he cried the rest of his heart out. Leaving him with no more tears to shed.

The cool breeze touched his skin ever so gently that he barely noticed it.

...He better head home soon, it was going dark out. His parents must be worried. He left a note didn't he? Should be fine...

His body felt like weights as he tried to move himself up. It felt like every joint in it was rusty.

Eventually, he gave up. Content to just lie there.

...Was he forgetting something? It was... It was...

 _"Hey Issei. When we meet up again, let's be heroes, alright?"_

His eyes widened as realization spread across his face. Memories of his time playing heroes with Irina coming back to him.

That was it! The promise he made with Irina before he left! He was going to be a hero! What was he doing lying down on a park bench like this?!

With renewed energy, he jumps up from the bench and forms a fist in front of his face with fire burning in his eyes.

He was going to become a hero and defeat the bad guy and rescue the girl! Then, when he meets up with Irina again, they can share their adventures with each other, and maybe team up like on those tv shows! And...and...and…

"I'm gonna be a hero." He said, really that was all that matters. He WILL become a hero!

Shouldn't be that hard, right?

So lost in thought, he almost didn't notice the pink blur that flew across the trees.

What was that?

It was zipping so fast that he could barely follow it with his eyes. As it darted around like it was looking for someone, stopping at moments, and then starting again before he could figure out what it- _wait was it coming towards him?!_

His feet reacted immediately as he began to run in an unknown direction. He didn't care where he was going as long as it could- _oh god it was still chasing him!_

There's only one thing to do at times like these! Run faster!

"Ahhhhhh!" He yelled as he began to pick up speed. His parents always told him that if someone was coming for him then he should yell. Surely it would apply to fling pink-red blurs.

And so, with all the stamina his nine year old body had, the chase began. Ducking and weaving through the trees until that _thing_ stopped chasing him.

So absorbed in running, it was quite a surprise when he fell forward. "What…?" he said, looking behind him to find his foot caught on a root.

His foot started shaking as he tried to get the branch off. "Come on…" He muttered, beginning to use his arms in his goal to- _oh god it was here._

"You know, you're never going to become a hero if you keep running away."

"Huh?!" He cried, suddenly from the trees a..a…

Was that a floating wand?! It looked like something out of a magical girl show! Pink and red, it even had a star!

"Luckily, that's where I come in!" The wand said, using it's wings to bend around. "I can give you magic to shoot lasers, a defensive shield, fly and more! For I am the magical stick of love and justice, Magical Ruby-chan!"

…

What. He… He had no idea what was being said. Magical stick of love and justice? This can't be real…

Though the lasers _did_ sound pretty cool…

"Aha! I bet you're thinking 'There's no way this can be real!' right?" The wand said, floating up closer to his face.

"Are you a mind reader?!" He shouted. It could be possible, this was a magic wand after all.

"I can't do that, but I can do plenty of other things! So, what do ya say? Wanna become a magical girl? It could help heal that cut on your leg~" The wand said moving up to his ensnared leg and inspecting the area.

He winced in pain as the wand touched the blood leaking out from the cut.

Not like he cared about that or anything! A hero doesn't die, even when he's killed! Or at least that's what TV had told him anyways…

Wait what was that?

"What did you just say?" He asked. There was something suspicious about what it just said…

"I asked if you wanted to become a hero." The wand replied, flying back to his face.

"No no. You clearly said something different just then!"

"Details details." The wand said. "So what do you say? Become a hero and destroy all those that (I call) evil!"

A hero…

DIdn't he just say that he was going to become a hero? Maybe this was his chance!

Then again, the wand was fishy and looked like something out of a magical girl show. But…

Darn, looks like he couldn't justify any of those points.

What should he do?!

"If you want to be a hero, just grab my handle!" The wand said floating in front of him.

On one hand, this might be a bad move. On the other hand…

 _"Hey Issei. When we meet up again, let's be heroes, alright?"_

...Yeah, he was going to fulfil that promise no matter what.

He reached out both of his hands and grabbed the handle as it flew into them. Warm with what he could only guess was magic.

"Hmhmhm. That was much easier than I thought it would be." The wand said out loud.

Oh no. It was a trick wasn't it!? He shouldn't have grabbed that handel! But no matter how much he tried to let go his hands wouldn't move.

"Conformation of a master through blood, a user contract formed through, and a heart of justice of a young boy as the catalyst! There's even something inside him too…"

Oh god. What had he done?!

"Now, should we finish this? Just tell me your name~" The wand said

He wasn't going to-

"I-I-Issei Hyoudou." He said against his will. It can control him, can't it!?

"You are now officially my master!"

A golden light shown blinded him to what was happening. He could feel the root coming off and floating upwards.

"Compact full open! Maximizing mirror world connections!"

He felt himself changing and moving around. Dancing to an invisible beat as different clothes began to cover him.

He could faintly hear the sound of Ruby giving comments but he couldn't make them out at all.

As the transformation seemed to end he..he…

He felt as if his pride had just burned to ashes.

"A new Kaleid Liner is born! Kaleid Liner Prisma Issei!"

…

As he landed back down onto the forest floor only one thing was on his mind.

 _What just happened?!_

"Hmm, no. That doesn't seem to have a good ring to it. Ah, but I can't think of any more~" Ruby mused from his hands.

"Eh? What just happened?" He asked to the wand and- _was it him or was his voice higher?_

"Eh? EH?!" He yelled in shock as he found out what the wand had done. He was wearing a pink dress straight out of a magical girl show and that wasn't even the worst of it…

"Did you turn me into a girl?!" He shouted at the wand.

"Yep! Do you like it? I've been searching all day just to try and find an easy girl to become a magical girl. Sadly, I couldn't find any. So when I heard your call I just thought that you would have to do!" The wand explained.

"I asked to be a hero, not a magical girl!" He (She? No, he was a guy!) yelled.

"But a magical girls are heroes, aren't they?" The wand asked rhetorically.

It was at that moment Issei learned a very important lesson.

 _Always be specific when wishing for something, for you never know how it's going to end up._

* * *

 **AN: And so begins Issei's adventure as a magical girl.**

 **I just genderbent Issei-fucking-hyoudou.**

 _ **Dear god what have I done?**_

 **So yeah, props to Kaleid Liner Lias' Pawn for inspiring this. Somehow.**

 **No seriously, don't ask.**

 **I'll try to make the chapters longer next time, but I give no promises.**


	2. Shounen Brave

**AN: Jesus Christ's Holy Shit you guys like this story. To answer the general question that is literally going to be explained in a couple of paragraphs: Yes, Issei does change back into a boy after his transformation.**

Episode Two: Shounen Brave

Issei was scared.

The wind whipped past his face as he tried to fly through the trees to dodge the arrows that were coming from somewhere inside the deeper part of the park.

He couldn't let himself be hit by them

A small thought came to him at that moment.

How did he get in this situation?

* * *

To say that the following hours were pleasant to Issei was like saying that being the victim of the Wizard Marshal was a good thing.

Total Bullshit.

Do you know how hard it is to change a magical wand that's set on you becoming a magical girl to change you back? Well I don't but Issei sure does.

So after what seemed to be an hour of trying to reason with Ruby, the wand finally gave in and transformed him back to normal.

He faintly heard something along the lines of "He could lead a double life!" but he just put it off as his imagination. Hopefully it was. He was never doing that again.

 _NEVER._

He wanted to be a hero but not that kind! Why couldn't it be cooler like a Kamen Rider? Magical girls weren't cool at all.

Note to self: When making a magical contract that grants wishes, always lay out the specifics. He was never making that mistake again.

That hour he spent as a girl was torture enough. And that's without bringing the dress into it.

He couldn't be a hero if he went around saving the day dressed like that. No matter what that wand said.

Heroes didn't dress like that.

So as soon as he got home he immediately checked on his parents who didn't really seemed worried and ran up to his room.

He needed to have a talk with Ruby.

The wand itself just became some sort of floating head after he finally reasoned with it too let it go.

At least no one would question why he had a magical girl wand…

No wait, he was trapping that thing in some unholy corner of his closet the first chance he got after this talk.

"Alright." He said, sitting down on his bed. "Never. Again."

"Too bad! You're already my master and you can't go back on it!" The wand said tauntingly.

"You tricked me into it!" He shouted at the wand.

"The contract was still made though so you're my new master!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Issei, who are you shouting at?" The unmistakable voice of his mother came from the door.

"Um, no one!" He said quickly.

He was not letting this out.

"Okay then…"

He held his breath until he heard the footsteps of his mother fade away.

"She's gone." He sighed in relief.

"You know, you can't be a hero if you're going to act this way."

"Huh?!" He shouted at the wand.

"What kind of hero can't get along with his (her) weapon? Besides, stop being so selfish!" The wand explained. Floating closer to him in the process.

"...You still haven't told me what I'd need you for anyways." He muttered out loud.

Not like there would be some excuse to use it-

"Aha! Let me tell your our mission!" The wand began. "What you need to know first is that I came here to recover a set of cards known as the class cards."

"Class cards?" He asked the wand.

...He hated to admit it but they kinda sound cool.

"Yes. Class cards. Powers of a hero trapped inside a card. If used for evil they could annihilate an entire city!"

"A-An entire city!" He stuttered out loud. That...That…

"Yes! It is my job to track down these cards and stop them from causing havoc!" The wand said. "And that's why I need your help!"

That…

This entire situation….

"That's so cool!" He shouted out loud. Eyes sparkling in admiration of the wand.

"So what do you say? Wanna help?" The wand asked.

He already knew his answer.

* * *

By the time he walked into class the next morning the answer was already engraved in his soul.

Nope.

He had no idea if the wand was making this all up, but in his excitement he foolishly said yes.

He probably deserved what was coming next as he couldn't get any sleep last night as the stupid wand kept trying to convince him of all the things he could do with magic as a magical girl.

He was 100 percent clear tin that if he agreed to do full blown out magical girl he would be embaresed.

...He really didn't think Ruby cared if he agreed or not.

He did manage to get something out of it…

* * *

 _"You said there was seven types of class cards right? What are they?"_

 _"Oh! Right!" The wand exclaimed. "The seven types are as followed. Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Assassin, and Berserker. There are no difference in the cards themselves because each of the classes embody different heros."_

 _"Different heros?"_

 _"Yes! Each of the class cards themselves are the embodiment of a copy of a different hero and sorted into a class."_

 _"How do you copy a hero?"_

 _"Magic."_

 _"What?"_

 _"It's Nasu. I don't have to explain it."_

 _"What do you mean it's Nas-"_

 _"Ah! You shouldn't ask questions you don't want answers to_ _o!"_

* * *

Ruby refused to explain more than that.

Well, she did mention how being a good magical girl would get him to this "Throne of Heroes" place, but he figured that just being a good hero would get him there anyways.

It wasn't named the Throne of Magical Girls after all.

So he walked into class that morning dead on his feat.

He didn't even get to eat dinner last night too!

He couldn't wait for lunch…

"Morning Issei." The guy who just happened to sit next to him said. "You look like you stayed up all night."

"Huh? Oh hey Matsuda." Issei said, tiredly waving at the bald kid next to him.

He was Matsuda… huh. He couldn't seem to remember his last name. Must have not have been important. Anyways, they had been friends for the year that they had sat next to each other and he kinda knew the guy well.

.

.

.

Okay so he didn't know him that well, but what he knew was enough!

"Nah. Just tired…" Issei muttered out loud as he slowly drifted to unconsciousness…

...Only to wake up to the beating of paper against his head.

"Issei. Wake up." A voice called out

"Ngh, five more minuets...:"

A sharp pain jolted him from his sleep to see his teacher standing at his desk with a murderous intention on her face.

"Halway. Now."

...This was going to be a long day, wasn't it?

* * *

The park sure was cold at night.

"Hey Ruby."

"Yes Issei?"

"Can you please explain to me why you dragged me all the way out to the park this late at night?!"

He was really starting to hate this park.

He had just managed to catch up on the sleep he lost last night too!

"Hmhmhm. You see Issei. A Class Card has been spotted here." The wand said from it's place besides his head.

That stopped all complaints Issei had about coming here at night.

It was his chance to be a hero!

...Wait, no. The dress…

Needless to say Issei was suddenly less than thrilled about this.

"Eh? But I don't see it anywhere." He asked, examining the park for some sign of magical artifact.

"That's because Class Cards exist in a mirror world. Think of it like a dimension similar to this one but not." The wand explained. "Now! Transform!"

"What?! Out here!? But what if someone sees me?!" Issei yelled at the wand.

Yeah- no. He was not doing that transformation thing out here.

"*Sigh* You really are a brat. You know that? Well I guess it can't be helped. To the bathroom!" Ruby exclaimed. Using its (her?) wings to drag the poor kid to the bathroom.

Well, that's a much better- wait why was she dragging him to the female one?

"Wait! Ruby! Stop!"

* * *

"Can't believe you dragged me into the female one." Issei said to the wand after he (He was not a girl!) finished his transformation.

"Well could you blame me? How would I explain why a lovely maiden like you was walking out of the boys bathroom." The wand asked.

Issei could feel a tick mark on his head.

"Ruby. **_Do you want to die?_** " He asked with calm rage.

He was way past the point of angry. That experience would probably scar him for life.

"N-Now now. A hero wouldn't kill a good guy. Right?" The wand asked nervously.

...She (He couldn't just keep calling the wand 'it') had a point.

"Just take me to where the card is." He sighed after a moment of thought.

He was still going to get back at her later.

"Righto!"

The ground lit up before him as Ruby began spouting some numbers and phrases he didn't understand.

T-This was a transport?

He suddenly closed his eyes as he felt as if the world had turned on its side before going right side up again.

He felt like he was going to be sick…

No! A hero never gets sick!

He felt the world go back to and hesitantly opened his eyes to find…

Nothing. The world looked just the same.

"Transport complete!" Ruby said, giving off a mock salute.

"Eh? Are you sure? The world doesn't seem any different." Issei asked, looking around to try and spot anything he didn't notice.

You know. He thought the mirror world would look more…

Cooler.

"Now! The class card is taking physical form!" Ruby yelled as a thick mist began enveloping the area.

Issei's legs shaked as for the first time for reasons besides Ruby he felt that this was a bad idea.

He couldn't be afraid! Heros were never afraid! He could do this…

"Issei Look out!" Ruby yelled from his hands.

"Ah!" Issei yelled as he fell backwards.

The mist cleared away to reveal an arrow where he was standing last.

If Ruby hadn't warned him he might have been dead.

Somewhere out there. Someone, Something had tried to kill him.

His whole body was shaking as he could only sit in fear as the attacker that shot the arrow lurked somewhere in the trees around him.

'I musn't be afraid. I musn't be afraid. I'm a hero!' he thought to himself in a mantra. If only to keep himself from running away.

"So it's an Archer huh?" Ruby mused out loud. "It must be somewhere in the- Issei move!"

As if a speed of energy had just came through to him he rolled onto his sighed and immediately spit out the dirt that came into his mouth.

"We need to take to the air! Issei fly!" Ruby commanded. "If we go to the air we can see where his attacks are coming from!"

"H-How?" He asked.

Musn't be afraid…

"Just imagine you can fly!" The wand shouted. "I can give you the power to do so!"

He stood up and immediately began running.

Flying…

He knew magic could help a person fly, but how? Like wings on his back…

That might work! He could take to the sky!

He could do this! Just imagine it right?

In his mind's eye he could see the wings on his back. He could almost feel them even.

If he just had a boost...

The wings started flapping in a steady rhythm as he felt them lift him up from his running sprint on the ground. Taking him to the open- wait how do you control these things?!

"Whaaaa!" The current magical girl yelled as he tumbled his way through the sky.

"Just keep steady Issei!" Ruby yelled from his hands.

"That's easy for you to say!" He yelled as the wind started to blow his hair back.

Wow, it was long- Now is not the time!

Alright. Steady... steady... You can do this Issei...

He slowly began to glide through the night sky as his wings took him on a path through the open air.

He was doing it! He was doing-

The sound of a arrow shooting past him stopped him from his rejoice. Blood fell out from a cut on his leg and dripped to the floor below.

He felt like he was going to hurl.

"Issei? Hey Issei?! What's wrong?!"

"Ruby... I feel sick..."

"Hang on! You've been poisoned!" The wand exclaimed. "Try healing yourself up!"

...

He can't.

"Ruby. Ruby I'm scared..." He admitted.

The wand was silent.

Somewhere out there was his killer, who shot him down from the sky before he even begun to fly.

He couldn't even try finding him, he was too scared. So he fell, into the mysterious wilderness below.

.

.

.

No.

What was he doing?! He was going to be a hero! He was going to meet up with Irina again! He couldn't die here!

But was he really prepared to take that risk? He could just die here and it would all be over...

No. That option just wasn't available. Just like how he had no choice in the matter to get involved in the first place.

There was more than one fear here. It wasn't just fear of his attacker. It was fear of leaving everything he knew behind in pursuit of his dream.

This abyss that he was stepping in... Did he really want to take the plunge?

As the ground drew closer he only had one answer.

"Yes."

He was going to be a hero!

"Rahhhh!" He shouted in an attempt to throw himself back into the air. His wings picked him up and once again he soared the night sky.

"I-I can heal the poison right?" He asked Ruby.

"Yes! Just imagine yourself being cured. A magical girl's limit is only her imagination!"

Only her imagination huh?

Hey... He could do this! Just like that spell in video games! It was magic right?

"Cure!" He shouted as he spun the wand around and...

The spell washed over him and made him sparkle in a pink light.

"Like a true magical girl!"

"You did that on purpose!" He shouted at the wand.

He could feel the sickness that was there disappear like a weight off his shoulders.

It felt wonderful!

"Now Issei! Fire a beam into the forest below! We should be able to lead the enemy out!" Ruby shouted to him. "Just think of a powerful beam attack that'll reign death from the sky!"

"Right!" He shouted in affirmation. "Haaaaah!" He cried as he swung his wand to the forest. A bright pink ball of energy immediately shout from it and exploded down below.

"...You know Ruby. We really need to find him quickly." Issei told the wand.

Blindly shooting magical balls of energy sounded fun. But really it would be hard to use that now...

"I know! Change of tactics! Issei! Try a scattershot homing attack!" Ruby shouted from his hands.

What.

"A scatter what?" Issei shouted in confusion.

"Think of it like this. That beam you just shot? That was a regular shot. Now think of a scattershot as multiple smaller bullets." The wand explained.

"I-I think I get it..." Issei said.

"Good! Now remember to make it hone in on his magic!

Hone in on his magic...

Alright.

"Scattershot!" He yelled as he threw the bullets of magic into the air. His eyes trailed them as they all flew into one general area.

The back of the park.

He dove full speed as he followed the directions of the bullets into the park trees and-

He had to think fast as the snapping of a rope alerted him to a trap. He quickly shot forward faster as knives dove into the tree next to him.

So there was traps everywhere huh? Well, he'll just have to do it his way.

By blowing up the place to unholy hell.

"Haaaa!" He shouted as he throw bullet after bullet of magical power. Ducking and weaving through the arrows that we're being shot at him from near by.

...Wait. Where those trees growing back? This was not good.

"Scattershot!" He yelled, throwing the homing bullets out there.

Who knows what those trees could do?

No noticeable noise, but he swear he could...

"There! Issei! Aim for where the bullets are pointing!"

"Right!"

He threw the strongest attack he could manage and shot in one area.

The dull thud of a body hitting a tree revealing the face of his attacker.

Dressed in green cloak with an orange mop of hair he sat there as if at his end.

Could he end him?

As he walked up to him Issei said the first words that were on his mind.

"I'm sorry."

Issei could swear under the darkness of the sky with only the moon for light that the man smiled.

"Now Issei! Use your finishing attack!" Ruby cried from his hands. "Just search inside you!"

"...Right."

He need to do this. To become the hero he wanted to be. To keep his promise to Irina.

So as the man stood up he charged.

For Irina. For his dream. For his promise!

He spoke the words that rises within him.

" **TWICE** " He boomed as he begun to charge up his hand, glowing green with power. " **CRITICAL!** "

A flash of green light burst from his arm as a red gauntlet appeared on it. Sharing an appearance with a dragon.

The hero in front of him hit the yew tree behind him and shattered into glowing dust. Leaving only a card behind.

 ** _Class Card GET!_**

He did it...

HE DID IT!

"WHOOO!" He shouted into the sky.

"Congratulations Issei! You've taken another step into becoming a full blown magical girl!"

"Yea- hey!"

He did it. Don't worry Irina. He'll fulfill that promise.

 _After all. He wasn't afraid anymore._

 **AN: What the fuck?**

 **The fuck just happened?**

 **Even I don't know and I write the story!**

 **Also, yeah. I'm not starting this story directly at the start of canon. It's Class Card hunting time baby!**

 **Edit: Format fixed.**


	3. Neverland

**AN: To that guy who said the last chapter title was similar to Kagerou Days.**

 **You win a virtual cookie. All chapters beyond number one are named after music.**

 **Also, no. This story is not inspired by Kampfer. I haven't seen that show in years and I only remembered it when you guys brought it up.**

* * *

 **Episode Three: Neverland**

 _She spun around in the air while twirling her wand. Before striking a pose and giving some invisible onlooker a wink._

 _"Kaleid Liner Prisma Ruby! Here to solve all your problems~ Teehe-"_

"BWAH!" A young boy shouted as he woke up from a dream he was having. As the details of the dream began to sink in, the area around him seemed to grow darker and darker until he was emitting an aura of pure despair and anger.

"Ah~ Good morning Iss- MMMH!?" A floating wand shouted trying to give good morning to her master. Only for him to grab her mid-greeting.

"Oh good morning Ruby." Our hero said in the 'sweetest' tone he could manage. "We need to have a talk on why you DON'T FORCE ME TO MARATHON ENTIRE SEASONS OF MAGICAL GIRL SHOWS!"

...Why don't we talk about something else?

Lets be honest with ourselves, if he hadn't met Ruby, his dreams would still be as fucked up as what we saw.

Poor kid.

Wait, you mean I'm not supposed to talk to the audience? But I've been doing that for the past two episodes!

Fine then.

To an average kid, Saturdays are like mini vacations. To Issei Hyoudou however, they involve trying to get his wand, Ruby, to stop cramming magical girl stuff into his head.

Shows how much that is working.

But really, this was a magical wand that could control your body when it touches you.  
It's pretty much an uphill battle.

As demonstrated by the beating our hero tried to give to the stick.

"So you attacked me because of a dream you had about being a magical girl?" Ruby asked from the hands of our frozen hero. "But why would you do that?! It means you're coming out as a magical girl!"

"And I've told you how many times I'm not a magical girl! I'm going to be a hero!"

"And I've told you how many times that Magical girls are heroes? You've seen it for yourself!" The wand countered.

...The memories of hours and hours of being forced to watch magical girl shows came flooding into his head. Poses...sparkles...love...magic...

Oh god. Stop the memories. He didn't go through that. Nope!

One thing did stick out though, magical girls could be heroes. ...It was something that was pointed out time and time again by Ruby.

Because if you were saving the earth by shooting a giant laser into a book that would destroy it. If that didn't make you a hero, then what does?

But still...

"But that's not the kind of hero I want to be." Exclaimed Issei as he flopped on down to his bed. "I want to be the kind of hero like Kamen rider!"

"Tch. But you're already becoming one!" The wand shouted. "I honestly don't see why you don't like being a magical girl. You could even use it to find love~"

"I really don't understand how I could find love with magic." Issei replied, continuing his staring contest with the ceiling.

"Just imagine it Issei! You're facing a Servant and you find yourself in trouble, when suddenly a man swoops down from the sky and defeats the Servant while saving you!" Ruby said as she floated in front of Issei.

 _"Irina…"_

 _"Are you okay, Ruby?"_

Issei immediately bolted up smacking his head against Ruby.

What was that?!

"Ohoho. I see that got a reaction out of you!" The wand said cheerfully as Issei rubbed his head.

"Stop putting images into my head!" He yelled. "Besides, why would I let a guy save me? I'm obviously going to save the girl!"

Hero always get the girl, not the other way around.

"Oh? Going for lesbian undertones? I see…" Ruby said out loud.

...You know what? He was done for the day. It was time to take some drastic measures.

"Yes, that could boost production sales and- Issei? Issei where are you going?"

"To try and boost my manliness."

Maybe he should watch that anime Irina got him for his birthday.

What was it called again? Ah What was it called again? Ah right. Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

* * *

One afternoon latter had Issei coming to one conclusion.

Irina was the bestest friend ever. He would have to make it up to him somehow.

But…

Simon didn't get the girl. He saved her, but it proved useless in the end.

Why? Why did it have to be that way?

...It was a terrible ending.

The show can't end that way! The hero was supposed to get the girl! Not...fail…

A lone tear slowly dripped past his cheek as sadness began to overwhelm him.

He...he can't changed the ending. It was impossible, no matter how hard he tried.

The only thing he could do was to shed his tears.

"Why..." He mumbled out. "Why?!"

"Why what?"

"Wha?!" Issei shouted as he jumped back.

Ruby floated in front of him, wings folded in a way that vaguely resembled a shrug. She must have came when he was watching the show. Or just now. Or...

You know what? He was going to stop questioning that.

"Hm... was it the ending of that show? I know! How about some more-"

"No! No more magical girl shows!" He interrupted the wand.

Never...again...

Just who the hell did she think he was?

Ugh, his eyes hurt...

"Yeah, I think that's enough TV for one day." He said, yawning out loud.

"Sure! And I get to pick next time, so I can make you do embarrassing stuff!"

"You're not even trying to hide it!"

"Issei, it's time for dinner!" His mom called from the kitchen.

"Coming!"

Ruby flew into his hands as he rushed towards the dinner table. His mom's cooking was the best…

"Haha! Excited are we?" His mom said, carrying the meal to the table. "Well, make sure to wash your hands…"

A dull thud and the clashing of metal echoed through out the room. A dull, tingly feeling buzzed through Issei as he moved to inspect the noise.

His mother had just... collapsed. No warnings given whatsoever. The food was splattered all over the apron and was dripping into her clothes.

It was soup. Mom knows he never liked soup.

"Issei! Issei! This must be the work of a enemy Class Card!" Ruby yelled, breaking free of his hands and releasing herself.

"Why do I feel like you just referenced something...?"

"Never mind that! Let's go Issei!"

"On it!" Issei shouted as he grabbed onto Ruby's handle.

As he began to twirl during the transformation, he could only help but worry about what this Class Card could do.

He wasn't even in that weird pocket dimension thing!

* * *

He shouldn't have tempted fate.

As he began to fly over town, his sights had became blurry. He honestly couldn't tell if that was because of the transition or the fact that the town was slowly dissolving into madness.

Trees that had no end began to tower the sky, he could have sworn that he saw a couple of walking cards, and was that a castle in the distance?!

"Issei, this Class Card is no ordinary Class Card."

"Again with that feeling..." Issei muttered to himself. "So do you know what type of Class Card it is?"

"It's most likely a Caster type, since this place seems to be a Reality Marble of sorts." Ruby said. "But what's strange is that it hasn't generated a mirror world first. Instead, it just seems to be slowly taking over the town..."

"It kinda seems like a dream." Issei responded. "Like some sort of thing you'd see in a fairy tale."

"WAIT!" Yelled a voice from down below.

As Issei guided himself to the ground, he could spot a brown haired girl chasing a rabbit down the street. Her chase ends as her body suddenly goes ahead of her feet and gravity makes itself known.

"Ah..." She mumbled as Issei landed on the ground. She whipped her head to the our current magical girl and gave a wide eyed look. "Finally! Somebody who's not asleep!" She yelled, running up to Issei. "Quick! What's your name!"

Ack! What should he do?! He's never talked to a girl like this before! Help? Help!

"R-Ruby..." He called out.

Unfortunately, fate seems to have had other plans for our hero.

"Ruby? That's your name? Seems kinda... western." The girl said with her hands on her hips. "And why are you dressed up as a magical girl? Are you one?"

"That's right!" Ruby exclaimed, lifting his hand up in order to put herself at eye level with the girl. "Her name is Kaleid Liner Prisma Ruby, and I'm her partner, the magical stick of love and justice Kaleidostick Ruby!"

"Don't listen to a thing she says." Issei slipped out instantly. "She tricked me into this job."

"Eh? So you're an actual magical girl?" The brown haired girl responded.

"Unfortunately..." Issei replied, shifting his eyes to the side.

He wanted to be a hero!

"Cool! My name is Kiyome Abe and I'm a beast tamer! Well, beast tamer in-training." The girl, Kiyome, introduced herself.

"Beast tamer...?" Issei mumbles out loud. "Sounds a lot like pokemon…"

"Eh he… I guess you could say that." Kiyome said, looking off to the side with rosy cheeks. "Anyways, do you happen to know what's going on? I just took a nap for a few hours, and when I wake up, the world was like this."

"It's the work of a dangerous artifact known as the Class Card." Ruby said seriously. "They take the form of heroes of legend, and in the wrong hands, they could destroy an entire city."

"Like this?" Kiyome said, gesturing to the scenery before them.

"This is somewhat of an anomaly, but yes."

"Well, it could be worse." Issei sighed.

Silence.

"...What?" He said, noticing the wide-eyed stare Kiyome was giving him.

"You just had to say it, didn't you?" She responded.

"Say what?"

"Ruby! Didn't all those magical girl shows teac-"

"MAGICAL GIRL SHOWS?! WHAT MAGICAL GIRL SHOWS?! HAHAHAHHAHAHH! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"

"...Is she okay?" Kiyome whispered to Ruby as Issei tried to block out the memories.

"Just give her a moment."

"Okay…."

* * *

"...You done yet?"

"I think so." Issei replied after two minutes of shouting out manly (but really don't need to be used right now) quotes.

"Quick! Ruby! We need to capture the- LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" The wand shouted at Issei.

He quickly whipped his head towards the sleeping bodies. Or rather, the roots that surrounded them.

"What's going on!?" He yelled at the wand.

"The card is using the bodies as a source of energy! We need to stop it quickly before they all die!" Ruby yelled. "I knew this servant was unusual!"

"...Everyone dies?" Kiyome asked. "How much time do we have?"

"A couple of minutes at worst. Fifteen minutes at best. It depends on how much energy the card is taking." Was Ruby's response.

Everyone dieing…  
No! He can't let that happen!

"Lets go Ruby!" He yelled.

"Such fighting spirit..." Kiyome said in wonder. "How are you not scared?"

"Because I'm not scared any more. I'll jump into the darkness if it means I can achieve my goal." Issei said with conviction in his eyes.

"Achieve your goal?"

All Issei could do was smile.

"I'm going to become a hero. Even if it means sending myself to the abyss that is the unknown."

* * *

The sky had became a dull gold some time during his flight, the world looked completely different than what it looked like mere minutes before. Flashes of pink flew through it as he tried to find the Servant using his homing bullets.

He couldn't land on the ground, there were monsters everywhere, and he couldn't afford to be slowed down.

"Ten more minutes Issei!"

"Now you call me by my real name!?"

"Secret identity!"

He sped up his chase even if it meant the wind would blind him. The homing bullets were bright enough for him to still follow.

He only hoped Kiyome was doing alright. She was hiding out in the remains of a cafe last time he checked.

His bullets were all leading him to the tip of the castle.

...In hindsight, it should have been obvious where the Servant was hiding.

"Issei! Listen! We're going to use that Class Card we got from last time!" Ruby shouted. "Just take it out, put it next to me, and yell 'Class Card: Archer include'!'"

...What? He was going to use the Class Card?  
"A-Alright." He stuttered out. "Class Card: Archer, **INCLUDE!** "

He could only stared in amazement as Ruby turned into the bow and a green cloak appeared on his shoulders.

...He knew what to do with the bow. An arrow appeared as he drew the bowstring back and aimed right at the tip of the castle. He could see the Class Card. He released the bowstring and let the arrow fly towards it's target.

Only for a giant red hand to catch the arrow mid flight.

He didn't have time for this!

He quickly lifted his hood up, allowing the power of the legend to hide him before flying as high as he could go.

A few days ago, the thing in front of him would have scared him to the core. Now? Now he could only grin under his hood.

The Servant apparently had a guardian. A red giant that soared through the skies.

Fitting for this messed up world.

He remembered back to that night in the forest. It wasn't until the end that he saw the Class Card. This hero fought in the shadows, and if he was going to fight with his weapons…

Then he too will have to go to the shadows. Sneak past the giant and kill the servant. Simple.

...But he didn't want to be like that. He wasn't like that. He was going to be hero! The kind of hero who saved the day! He had already decided this! So he did things his way.

He shot the giant down.

The thing flew straight down as the poison in the arrow instantly took effect. Landing directly on the castle.

The castle shattered like glass as Ruby returned back to normal.

"Hurry Issei! There's not much time!" She shouted.

"Right!" He yelled, pocketing the card. He took off with all his might until he found her.

The Class Card took the form of a young girl with white hair, and she seemed as broken as the castle. Cuts and blood splattered everywhere as she looked at him dead in the eye. And to his surprise, she spoke.

"Finish it." She declared. "Finish the story. I'll be back when the reader starts at the beginning again."

He froze.

"Issei, this isn't your regular Class Card." Ruby spoke from his hands. "This is the manifestation of someone's thoughts on a story. Not an actual hero. What she says is true. That's why the mirror reality took so long to form and why so many people are in it."

Wait, this was the mirror reality? Well, that explained a lot.

Not much of a mirror reality.

"Issei, one minute left!" Ruby yelled.

Ack!

He began to rush towards the Servant with his fist back as once again he called upon the power inside of him. " **Twice** ,".

He wasn't going to make it! He needed a-

" **[BOOST]** "

His feet suddenly sped up as power surged through rhem. He didn't have time to question where the sound or power came from but he knew it had something to do with the gauntlet.

" **Critical!** " He shouted as he threw the punch. A dull thud sounded throughout the area.

"And so the story ends once more." She said as she began to dissolve. "Alice, I wonder when we'll see each other again."

Issei could only watch as the card dropped to the floor. Slowly, he picked it up.

 _ **Class Card GET!**_

"Issei, the mirror reality is falling apart!" Ruby shouted to him.

"Falling?"

"Yes, falling! We need to get out of here!"

* * *

"In recent news, a major gas leak over the town has caused all residents to fall asleep. Luckily, no damage has been taken to the town itself." The TV blared in the background from downstairs as Kiyome stared him down.

"So, you're telling me you're a guy?" She asked.

They were currently in his room after he had returned to actually explain what was going on.

In spite of Ruby's insistence that he should kept his identity a secret for "Comedy".

Yeah- no. He already knew that Ruby's definition of "Comedy" is "My personal amusement".

"Well, yeah." He said, looking away.

"...AHAHAHAHA!" She yelled breaking out in laughter.

"It's not funny!"

"Yes it is!"

He couldn't help but smile as their banter continued until she went back home.

 _After all, this story has a happy ending. He'll make sure of it._

* * *

 **AN: Well, I did it. Not as long as the last chapter but that's okay. And guess what? I even grabbed myself a beta! Say hello to Shinji Matou!**

 _ **You can't stop me, Snake! I will open that can of worms and tell everyone your dark and horrible secret! This guy- *is shot*.**_

 **What was that? I couldn't hear you.**

 **...Well, anyways. I'm not really that happy with the fight scene (Though I know most of you are here for the jokes) and I feel like I may have gotten some things wrong.**

 **But then again, Nasu gets his own stuff wrong.**

 **Also, if anyone is wondering why Issei got Archer's cloak and bow. It's because they are both his noble phantasms.  
**

 **Well, if Shinji overlooked a mistake please tell us.**

 **Snake out!**


	4. Lost One's Weeping

**AN: To begin, a rabbit watches from the darkness of the moon.**

 **What is it that it sees with it's red eyes?**

 **The snake that crawled around the world only to meet itself attempts to go beyond its cycle.**

 **When will it be allowed to stop spinning?**

 **A knight of blood stares at a pile of broken swords with mournful eyes.**

 **A dragon watches an old mirror, fractured as it is.**

 **All while the kaleidoscope of infinite paths take shape.**

 **And in the end-**

 **Ugh, sorry**

 **Right, the above? Yeah, that's just bullshit. I've been wanting to spout some creepy and cryptic bullshit since I watched Paranoia Agent.**

 **Well, on with the show!**

* * *

 **Episode four: Lost One's Weeping**

Rumors, they were both a good thing and a bad thing. Well, they can also be flat out stupid, but let's not get into that.

If you asked Hyoudou Issei at this point in time about his opinion on rumors, he would just be happy if they would just go away at this point. The reason? He was currently learning just how hard it is to keep the charade that protected and separated normal humans from the supernatural.

The result of the Caster Class Card had inspired all kinds of theories, ranging from aliens to government conspiracies. Naturally, these theories turned into rumors, and soon it became a favorite activity at Issei's school to spread them around.

As for why it's hard? Now imagine you knew the truth to these rumors. The thing is you _can't_. At this point he just wanted to stand up on his desk and shout that it was actually a powerful magic artifact, but he must persevered for the sake of his dream!

...Yeah, he's not convincing anyone.

"Hey, Issei." Matsuda called from his seat next to Issei.

He swore to whatever deity was out there (He stopped believing he had good fortune when Ruby came to him) that if it was one more rumor he will-

"Wanna head to the arcade after school."

"Ack! Sorry, I have other plans."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah…"

The silence between the two is awkward as Issei tries desperately to come up with _something_ that could start up conversation.

"So what do you think of all the rumors?" Matsuda asked after a while.

"Huh?"

"You know? _Those_ rumors?"

"Oh." Issei said bitterly. "Don't even get me started on them."

"Why are you so upset by them anyways?"

...Help. Someone help.

"I, um, I don't want to talk about it."

Luckily for our hero, the bell saved him from further questioning. It was at that moment Issei believe in God.

* * *

"Hey, Issei. You wanna eat lunch on the roof?" Matsuda asked him as soon as the bell dismissed him from the hell that was called class.

Truly the bell was an angel from heaven.

"Huh? Why would we eat up there? We never eat up there." Issei responded.

"Psst, Issei. Just do it. Every main character does it." Ruby whispered from his bag.

"With you being the one pushing me? No way!"

"What are you doing?" Matsuda asked.

"Oh, um, nothing! Eh he..." Issei said, hurriedly rushing back to face Matsuda.

"Well come on! We're eating on the roof!"

"Alright alright!"

* * *

If you had to pick between being a bystander and being a hero, what would you pick?

While people will say they would be a hero, there's no guaranteed that they would actually do it. Hell, they could even be the villain in the first place.

Except at this point we all know that one Issei Hyoudou is not like that. He would rather die than be a villain. In fact, if you could describe Issei Hyoudou in one sentence it would be "The kid that wants to be a hero". Well, you could also say "The boy who denies that he's a magical girl" and "That one guy who was supposed to be an extremely big pervert, but is not in this universe".

Honestly, you could say many sentences that could summarize Issei, but I'm losing my point.

The point is that Issei Hyoudou wanted to be a hero. So when faced with three older boys bullying a classmate of his, he immediately stepped in to help.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" He yelled, throwing the door to the roof open and walking right up to them.

"Oh? Look at what we have here. A little boy who thinks he can be a-" One of the older students began before a swing of Issei's first connected to the boys face, knocking him onto the floor.

"You little brat…" Another boy said, walking up to Issei with a murderous expression on his face.

Heh. He's stood up against worse.

"Issei! What are you doing?!" Matsuda yelled, running up to him.

"What does it look like?!"

"Like something stupid!"

"Matsuda." Issei began "Do you really think we should-". A sudden pain rocketed through our hero's body before he was blown back against the fence.

"Issei!"

"Gah!" He yelled, crawling back up to his feet. "Don't worry about me Matsuda. Save yourself."

"No way!" Matsuda responded, running up to him. "I won't leave you bro."

"Don't worry. I'm going to be a hero, this won't stop me."

"As touching as this scene is, It's about time we teach you why you don't mess with your elders." The last of the bullies said. "Class is in session."

"Bring it on!" Issei yelled, getting his fists in fighting position.

"Don't forget about me!" Matsuda yelled, standing up next to Issei's side. "If Issei's doing it so am I!"

It was at that moment that Issei learned that Matsuda was the second best friend that he ever had. After Irina of course.

* * *

They lost. Not badly, but they still lost. Even if they got a few hits in...

"Hey Issei, remind me next time that if someone attacks us, let's run away." Matsuda said from his spot in the infirmary.

"What was that about 'If Issei's doing it, so am I'?" Issei said annoyed.

"That was before we got our butts kicked."

Right, they lost…

He never thought that fighting without Ruby would be so much of a challenge. It was so easy fighting Class Cards with her that the first time he fought without her was the time he realized he was so… lacking. The boost she had given him was something that he depended on, something he depended on _too_ much.

If he was like this without equipment, then how would he be able to become a hero?

"Why?" A voice cut through the room. "Why did you save me?"

Issei turned to look at the voice. It was coming from the classmate they had saved, a boy with glasses that seemed to cover his eyes.

"I was just following Issei's lead. So Issei, why did you save him?" Matsuda asked.

"Didn't I say it before? I'm going to be a hero!" He yelled, flinching from pain.

All three of them began chuckling before slowly drawing out into full blown laughter. As the laughter died down a comfortable silence began to descend on the room.

"Well, thanks. They had been bullying me for a while." The boy said after a while. "Though a hero huh? Isn't that a bit silly?"

"Hey! I saved you didn't I?!"

"If by 'saved' you mean get beat up until one of us thought it was a good idea to get a teacher (Me) by escaping then yes." Matsuda interrupted. "Do you know how scary it was, thinking that they were right behind me?"

"Um, one of them was right behind you." Issei responded.

"Eh?! Really?!"

"DID YOU NOT LOOK BACK?!"

"I WAS RUNNING FOR MY LIFE! THERE WAS NO TIME TO LOOK BACK!"

The other occupant of the room began to chuckle again, wincing every so often. "Say, I never did get your names."

"Ah right! The name's Issei Hyoudou!"

"My name's Matsuda."

"Heh. The name's Motohama. It's nice to meet you guys."

* * *

"Hurry Issei! We're going to be late!"

"Well it's not my fault the nurse wouldn't let me out until the end of school, is it?!"

"You were the one who decided that getting a snack at the convenience store would be a good idea!"

"I was hungry! How was I supposed to expect that the line would be that long!?"

Issei's legs burned as he picked up his pace. The last time he checked a clock was when he left school and half an hour had probably already passed.

There it was! His goal-

He quickly turned to the side as a tennis ball made it's way past him and into the wall behind him.

Did it just make a crater?

"You're ten minutes late!" Kiyome yelled. "I told you to be here by three o'clock!"

"I'm sorry! I got hungry and-"

"No buts! Punishment must be served!"

"Wait punishment?!" Issei yelled.

Please don't be bad, please don't be bad...

An evil smiled appeared on Kiyome's face. "Ruby, come here…"

...There goes all his hope.

"Why. Why would you do this to me Kiyome?" Our currently female hero said, walking out of the female restroom, a place he thought he would never go back to.

He was dressed in the standard school gym clothes for girls. That was bad enough but the fact that they were currently on a _public_ tennis court made it even worse. He hoped no one saw him...

"Like I said, punishment!" Kiyome's cheery voice said from the court. "Now, take this racket."

"Eh?" Issei mumbled.

"We're going to play some tennis!" Kiyome yelled, throwing a racket towards him.

"EH?!"

"Exactly as I said! Now dodge!"

Issei barely had anytime to react as he ducked the oncoming projectile.

"W-Woah! Slow down there! How will this help me at all!?" Issei yelled, waving his hands around.

"You need to dodge in a fight!" Kiyome replied

"I know how to dodge!"

"Then try to get a point off me!" Kiyome challenged.

"Fine!"

* * *

His eyes were fixed on the target. He needed to keep focus or-

A gust of wind blew past him and he took off at the fastest he could go. If he could just time this right...

The sound of his racket hitting it's target was like a melody to his ears. "Haaa!" He yelled, swinging it as hard as he could. it soared to the air only to be stopped by another racket.

"HA!" His opponent yelled, serving it back to him.

As he began to run, the ball suddenly curved in his direction. Pushing him back as it flew by his head.

"Ah…" He moaned in pain. Lifting up his hands to see the cuts all over it.

"And that's one hundred to one." Kiyome said, walking up to him. "You know, when you're not completely missing the ball it's so easy to return that it's not even funny."

"I'm new at this, give me a break!" He yelled. "And are we done yet? I wanna transform back."

It was what? Five o'clock? Two hours as a girl was enough...

"Yeah yeah sure. Here, let's get something to eat first."

* * *

Ice cream.

If one could describe one of the greatest treats mankind had ever invented in two words, it would be that. So as Issei began to devour into his chocolate ice cream, he began to feel like his worries were fading awa-

"Issei! It's unbecoming of a young lady to eat her food like that!" Ruby yelled from his pocket.

"...I don't know how, but you've somehow even managed to make ice cream worse." Issei stated, staring at his ice cream with despair.

"I am shocked and appalled that you think of me like that!"

"It's true and you know it!"

"She has a point you know." Kiyome said. "It's unbecoming of _anyone_ to eat like that."

"Leave my ice cream alone!"

"Well then you better eat it quick, it's melting."

"Ah!" Issei yelled, taking as many bites as he could. As soon as he finished he turned to face Kiyome who had a phone faced directly at him.

"Did you just take a photo?"

"Yep!" She said cheerfully. "Ruby asked me to take it."

"RUBY!"

A couple of laughs later a silence had descended around the park.

"Do you know why I brought you to play tennis?" Kiyome asked, staring up at the sky where the sun was beginning to set. "It's because I want to help."

"How does playing tennis help?" Issei asked.

"It's because tennis is a game of strategy and fitness!" Kiyome exclaimed. "You need to run around to get the ball and you need to know exactly what speed you're going to hit it and where you're going to hit it!"

"I still don't see how it would help…"

"It's traning! You can't just rely on Ruby all the time!"

"I know that…" Issei said bitterly. "You know, I got into a fight today."

"You did?!" Kiyome exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah, I even have the bruise to prove it." Issei said, beginning to take off his shirt before Kiyome stopped him.

"Woah woah woah! A girl can't just take off her shirt in public! What have your parents taught you!?"

"But Kiyome-"

"No buts! And clean yourself up, there's chocolate all over your face!" Kiyome exclaimed, grabbing a napkin before wiping it all off. "There you go! Now what were you saying?"

"Like I said I got into a fight." Issei said. "It was with a couple of older students who were picking on a classmate of mine. I thought it was okay because I'd seen worse… suffice to say I got my butt kicked."

"You don't seem injured…"

"Well I _was_ going to show you my injury but.."

"And like _I_ said, a girl shouldn't take off her shirt in public!" Kiyome countered.

"The only reason I'm a girl right now is because of you!" Issei responded. "Speaking of which, can I please change back now?"

"Not until you finish your story."

"Now you're just extending the time!"

"So, how bad was it?"

"Don't just go ignoring my complaints!" Issei yelled before settling down. "It was, well, it was get hit in the stomach. A lot."

"Ouch, that bad huh?"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine!"

"You got hit several times in the stomach and you call that _fine?_ "

"A hero will always get back up!" Issei responded. "But, still. It didn't end until one of my friends managed to escape and grab a teacher."

"Woah woah woah. It wasn't just you?" Kiyome said, putting her hands into a time out position.

"My friend Matsuda was there with me. In fact, he's the only reason I found out about it in the first place." Issei explained.

"So, what happened next?" Kiyome asked.

"Well, the teacher came, took the bullies to the principal's office, and we were sent to the infirmary till the end of the day." Issei finished. "But no matter how you look at it, we lost."

"No."

"Huh?"

"No matter how _you_ look at it, you lost." Kiyome declared. "Look Issei, you're the kind of guy who would charge right into things without thinking about it, and sometimes that's not going to cut it."

"Hey! What do you mean-"

"I mean exactly what I said." Kiyome stated, standing up just so she could point downwards at Issei. "Listen up! Sometimes in a fight charging into it is not good enough! You need to think to win! You've been lucky thus far but if you keep that up you're enemies are going to use that against you!"

"Being a hero means charging head into things! That's why I've been fine!" Issei yelled, standing up to face her.

"No that's it! All that you've been relying on are luck and tricks that others have given you!" Kiyome yelled. "And look where that's gotten you! You need to be able to trick the enemy by yourself, otherwise you'll never win!"

"That's not true." Ruby's voice said, cutting through the atmosphere. "Issei has done things on his own."

"Huh?" Issei said. "I have?"

"Remember what I said when we first met?"

" _Conformation of a master through blood, a user contract formed through, and a heart of justice of a young boy as the catalyst! There's even something inside him too…"_

The words rang through his mind. How could he forget the day when this all started?

"Something inside of me…"

"That's right, and you've been using it in battle to." Ruby declared. "It's your finisher Twice Critical."

"Did you just say-?!" Kiyome said in shock before turning to face Issei. "Quick, Issei! Summon that finisher!"

"But without Ruby I can't-"

"Didn't you hear what Ruby just said?! It's part of your own power, you don't need her to use it!" Kiyome exclaimed. "So just focus on summoning it!"

"A-All right." Issei stuttered, putting his arm above his head. " **Twice Critical!** "

And in a flash of green light, it appeared. His own power, his own strength, the one thing he could do without Ruby. Twice Critical, that was its name.

"It's just as I thought." Kiyome said. "I didn't realise it until now even when it should've been obvious, it's pretty common after all."

"What?" Issei asked.

A small "Heh" could be heard from Kiyome before she pointed her finger once more at him.

" _Issei Hyoudou! You are in possession of a sacred gear!"_

* * *

 **AN: Yo. I know what you're thinking, so let me answer those questions.**

 **Q: Is this chapter just filler?**

 **Probably, but we couldn't have all the chapters be about the class cards now could we?**

 **Q: Why did you make the rest of the perverted trio a main focus?**

 **Why would I** _ **not**_ **make them the main focus.**

 **Q: Are the rest of the class cards from extra?**

 **No, trust me.**

 _ **Trust me…**_

 **Q: Any references?**

 **Not that I remember, but if you were talking about last chapter those were Jojo references.**

 **Oh, for titles? This chapter was named after a vocoloid song of the same name, Neverland is a song sung by Nano (Which is actually Nevereverland, whoops), and Shounen Brave is a vocoloid song made by Jin and is part of the Kagerou Project.**

 **Q: Future plans?**

 **Why would I tell you guys?**

 **Q: What did I just read?**

 **Hell if I know.**

 **Q: CLIFFHANGER, WHY?!**

 **You have no idea how fun it is for an author to mess with his readers.**

 **Q: What does the message at the beginning mean?**

 **That I should probably try to get Paranoia Agent out of my mind.**

 **Anything I missed Shinji?**

 _ **There can never be enough JoJo!**_

 **True true.**

 **Well, Snake out!**


	5. That Blood Destiny

**AN: Let's be honest, there was going to be a long wait eventually. It was also a huge pain in the ass to write.**

* * *

 **Episode Five: That Blood Destiny**

"Hey," The mysterious blond haired girl said, blue eyes staring intently on the Class Card like it was a prize. "That Class Card is mine."

The next moment was a blur, and before Issei knew it, he was slammed into a wall. It was at that moment that Issei knew that the hunt for the Class Cards had truly begun.

It was hot. So hot that he wouldn't be surprised if the world suddenly caught fire and all of humanity collapsed.

"It's hot..it's hot..." Issei muttered in a mantra, lying on his bed with a dazed expression on his face. He couldn't wait until the night where the cool air would blow across his face as a reward for the torture he was going through now.

"Hey hey Issei!" Ruby yelled cheerfully. "Let's go do-"

"No way in hell." Issei declared. "I don't know what you're thinking, and I don't want to know."

"Aw~ What happened to that kid you were when we first met?"

"He spent a month with you."

"Hmph, I was going to suggest a way to cool off but..." Ruby trailed off, flying away slowly.

Issei's mind began to churn as he processed what he just said. Had it really been a month since he and Ruby had met? Since he was drawn into the world of the gods? So much had happened in so little time. He met Kiyome, he helped Matsuda, he discovered his Sacred Gear, he...

Still hadn't fulfilled that promise to Irina. Damn, he needed to train harder to-

"No." Ruby declared in English, bonking him on the head. "You've been training way too much to be considered healthy, and it's not even magical girl stuff too! Someone might take your job if you focus on only that! Even the greatest of magical girls need rest!"

"But-" Issei began, only to be cut off by another hit to the head.

"No! You need a break! Now, I know a place..."

* * *

The sun, while hot, had nothing on the sight before him. The water glistened in its rays and the sounds of people enjoying themselves resonated throughout the pool.

"Ruby," Issei asked. "What is this?"

"Didn't I tell you earlier? It's the public pool that just opened up, of course!" Ruby responded cheerfully, making sure to hide herself behind Issei. "Honestly, ever since Kiyome told you that you had that Sacred whatchamacallit, that's all you've been focusing on!"

"First off, it's called a Sacred Gear." Issei gurnted annoyed. "Secondly, it's way better than you!"

Twice Critical was awesome, or at least that's what Issei thought. From its looks to its ability. He could double his power up, _how awesome was that?!_

Sure Kiyome told him that there were better Sacred Gears out there, but he still thought his was pretty cool. In fact, he could still remember her lecture…

* * *

" _Listen, Issei." Kiyome stated seriously. The park had gotten dark and the stars began to peak out in the night sky, slowly fading into existence. "That Sacred Gear of yours is a common one. In fact, there exists a Sacred Gear that literally has your power, but better."_

" _What?!" Issei exclaimed in surprise, looking at his arm. "You said that God created these right, why would he do that?!"_

" _I don't know, I'm not Christian." Kiyome shrugged. "From what I've heard, God works in mysterious ways."_

" _How do you know about this anyways?" Ruby perked up. "Suspicious suspicious…"_

" _My family has been a family of beast tamers for many years; it's only natural we know about the supernatural." Kiyome yawned. "Sacred Gears are the most famous supernatural phenomenon for humans. The Gear I told you about, the Boosted Gear, is even said to be one of those that is able to kill gods. But enough questions for now, it's getting late, and if I fall asleep in class tomorrow I'm killing you."_

" _Kill?! You're joking right?!"_

" _Huehuehue…"_

* * *

"You know Issei," Ruby whispered in a creepy manner. "It's not nice to say someone is better than a lady. Maybe I might have to teach you a lesson…."

A sense of fear made its way down Issei's spine. Well trained instincts told him that he needed to run far, far away but he clamped down on them and stared Ruby at eye level. He could face her!

* * *

He couldn't face her. Why did he ever think he had a chance? It was a fool's game to face that devil. All he could do was sulk _strategically go over his situation_ in this one tiny corner of the pool.

"Hey Issei!" Kiyome's voice called. "Why did you call me over to the pool? Do you know how long it took to find my bathing suit? You're just lucky I didn't have anything else to do today or- woah!"

"Not. A. Word." Issei's feminine voice declared as he began to sink deeper into the pool. "Say one word about it and-"

"Where did you even get a female swimsuit?"

Yes, our hero (Who was also transformed) was currently wearing a pink women's swimsuit. A mixture of depression and embarrassment could be felt in the very air around him as he began to sink himself deeper into the pool. Sliding against the wall with shame until his legs rested against the pool floor and only his head was visible to the open air.

"Ruby got it from who knows where." He mumbled quietly. "I would ask myself but I doubt I'd be given a decent answer."

"I..see…" Kiyome said with a smile on. "Where did Ruby fly off to anyways?"

"Probably plotting how to embarrass me even more."

"I can see why she brought you to the pool."

"Sue me."

Before he knew it, a quick splash came from Kiyome and blinded his vision.

"What was that for!?"He yelled, getting up on his knees before splashing Kiyome in retaliation.

"You really do need to lighten up." Kiyome explained, pushing her hands against the water as harder as she could so that the water could fly everywhere. "Or can you not face me in splash duel?"

"I can to!"

"Prove it!"

* * *

The next few hours consisted of Issei and Kiyome each trying to figure out how to make each other quit. Every single water fight method in the book was tried, from rapid, short splashes in succession to using a swim noodle as a makeshift hose. It was a fight so legendary and epic that it even got the other kids around them to pick a side and fight.

Until they got kicked out of the pool that is. Now they had changed back into regular (well for one of them at least) clothes and looking at the pool from the outside.

"How were we supposed to know that we were causing trouble for the other occupants?" Issei exclaimed. "All we were doing was a simple splash fight."

"Issei, we ended up making another kid go home due to 'a simple splash fight'." Kiyome replied. "What are we still doing out here anyways?"

"I can't go home like this so I'm just waiting on Ruby."

"Huh."

A couple of minutes pass by in silence before a familiar blur flew in between the two girls boy and girl.

"Issei! A Class Card has emerged!" Ruby exclaimed. "It's right here at this pool, and we need to go now!"

Instantly, the two of them were on alert. After checking to make sure no one was watching ("Hey!" "Sorry Kiyome!"), Issei grabbed Ruby's handle and transformed.

"You ready Issei? You haven't fought a Class Card in a long time." Ruby asked from Issei's hands.

"Of course I am." Issei said with fire in his eyes. "Kiyome, I'm going without you! Don't worry, I'll be fine!"

"Wait-"

"Righto Issei!" Ruby yelled, and that was the last thing Issei heard before the world split.

* * *

"I'd forgotten how terrible a transport was." Issei said, falling to the ground. Contrary to the outside world, the mirror world was pouring down heavy rain and winds. The only reason he was not shivering was because of the protection Ruby was giving him.

"A proper magical girl doesn't get sick on the job!" Ruby exclaimed. "Besides, look over there!"

The oncoming sight almost made Issei just want to curl up and hide. A fleet of twenty pirate ships were coming at him, being led by a spectacular golden ship, with an unknown figure standing on the top of the bowsprit.

"Oh? How brave of Rider to stand in plain sight." Ruby commented out loud. "Listen Issei, you see that figure standing on the long, horn part in the front of the ship? That's the Class Card."

"R-Right." Issei responded, calming himself. "Here I go!"

With the flap of his metaphorical wings, Issei took to the skies once more. The raging storm making it hard to concentrate, and he had only the Class Card to guide his sight.

Suddenly, some movements were seen in his view as the figure gave out commands. Golden light dance across the sky as an armada of bullets soared his way.

"Gah!" He exclaimed as the bullets either hit him or grazed him. He was getting a little dizzy from all the spinning that was involved in dodging them, but he had to keep his cool. "Alright, take this!"

His own pink scatter shots flew through the air, and it could faintly be seen that the figure, a woman in red, was dodging them with ease.

"Grr…" Issei growled out, flinging more bullets in her direction.

"Issei look out!" Ruby warned. "She's manifesting something!"

In a split second, four cannons appeared in the air, facing all four directions. He barely had any time to to dodge before they fired four simultaneous cannonballs at a speed closer to a machine gun.

"ARGH!" Issei roared in frustration, wildly firing a giant laser at the figure, only for it to be shot to pieces by several cannonballs.. "This isn't working!"

It wasn't fair really, he couldn't get close to the figure without having to dodge a hailstorm of bullets, and she could just flip around the shots he fired! Pirates really were the enemies of heroes. Why-

"GAE BOLG!" A female voice screamed as a red light pierced through the sky, hitting the Class Card in the chest. As the burning light died down, a spear was sticking out of Rider before she and her fleet of cheating ships vanished in a golden light.

The storm died down and all that was left of the fight was a falling card and spear. Issei froze in the air at what had just conspired. Someone else had…

"Lancer, **Uninclude.** So you're the one Saphire told me about." A voice said from behind him. Spinning around, Issei was greeted to the sight of a blonde haired girl with dark blue eyes dressed in a similar magical outfit as him, but blue.

"Wha…?" Issei said in shock. "Who are you?"

"She must be the one my sister chose." Ruby said, serious for once. "Issei, you're rival has appeared!"

….Or not.

An awkward silence hung over the air until another unknown voice broke through from the mysterious girl's hands. "I see you are still the same as ever, Ruby."

"Ohohoho! So serious like always," Ruby responded. "But don't forget that the Class Card is still out there!"

"Hey," The mysterious blond haired girl said, blue eyes staring intently on the Class Card like it was a prize. "That Class Card is mine."

The next moment was a blur, and before Issei knew it, he was slammed into the wall of the pool.

"Guh!" He exclaimed, pain from the blow having shook his whole body. "As if… I would give up!"

He immediately launched himself in the air before unleashing a laser at his attacker. Dusts clouding his view of her.

"Heh, you wanna go?!" Her voice roared as the dust cleared away to find her perfectly unharmed with a shield of magic in front of her. "Let's make this a race! First one to get that Class Card gets to keep it!"

"Agreed!" Issei yelled back in return, flying down towards the still falling Class Card.

"Here I go!"

"Well then, let's dance!" The girl shouted enthusiastically, using her feet to glide through the sky as she unleashed her own barrage.

The pair of magical girls began their duel in the mirror world, each one pushing their speed to the limits with the goal in mind.

Issei had a wild grin on his face as he shot another giant laser at his opponent, forcing her to barely dodge the attack in time, only to be grazed by it. Just as he was about to speak Ruby interrupted him with a scolding tone.

"Issei, focus!" She spoke sternly. "I didn't notice it until now, but you've been losing yourself in the fight! You wanna be a hero right?!"

"What kind of question is that?!" He growled. "Of course I do!"

"Then act like one! You've been acting like a battle maniac this whole time! I don't know what's wrong with you nor do I care, but if you're my host then act like one!"

"You forced yourself on me…" He grumbled in annoyance, but even so his mind began to churn.

Was he really losing himself in the fight?

" _ARGH!" Issei roared in frustration, wildly firing a giant laser at the figure, only for it to be shot to pieces by several cannonballs.. "This isn't working!"_

 _He immediately launched himself in the air before unleashing a laser at his attacker._

 _Issei had a wild grin on his face as he shot another giant laser at his opponent_

He was, wasn't he? But why? He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew it had something to do with power. Overwhelming power that drove men mad.

A hero shouldn't act like this. What would his parents say if they saw him like this? Matsuda? Kiyome?

Irina?

…

It didn't really hit him how hard being a hero could be. He had to keep his mind focused on the goal, and right now that goal was the Class Card. If that girl got… who knew what she would do?

No, he was going to get that Class Card and become a hero. No matter who was in his way.

"I'm sorry Ruby." He breathed out. "Let's go get that Class Card."

"That's the spirit! A magical girl should never forget what's in her arsenal, you must have been focusing so much on the power you hold that you forgot what I can do. Don't you remember your other trick?" Ruby explained.

"Other trick…?" Issei mumbled before relaxation came to him.

Oh, that!

"Hey, Sapphire!" He called in an attempt to name her. "Eat this!"

"Huh?" She asked, before a barrage of bullets came her way. She tried to glide her way to avoid them but they followed her anyways. As she began to cut her way through the sky, she let out a shriek of surprise. "Homing bullets?!"

"Yep!"

He should really stop forgetting those existed. They've proven themselves twice over that they work wonderfully.

He dove straight towards to the card as the sound of them finally hitting their target sounded through the air.

"I have tricks of my own to!" Sapphire, the person not the wand, roared. "Take this, **Absorption Line!** "

A line extended the girl's arm and went forward until it wrapped itself around Issei's left leg, shocking Issei into stopping his dive.

"I'll just pull you here myself!" The girl said smugly, beginning to draw higher in the air. "Besides, my Absorption Line drains your energy. It should be a piece of cake to get that Class Card."

"A Sacred Gear?!" Issei exclaimed, trying to push away from the direction the Gear was pulling him towards. "Well, I have one too! If you're going to drain my power I'll just double mine! Come on out, **Twice Critical!** "

As the gauntlet formed on his arm, he grabbed the whip in an attempt to free himself from its grip. The girl flinched before shooting a bullet to distract Issei.

"'Come on out, Twice Critical'? How long were you practicing that for?!" She asked, pulling away from the Class Card.

"I should say the same thing to you, 'Take this, Absorption Line'!" Issei retorted, flipping himself over so that the bullet could miss him. "If you're going to unleash your special ability at least do it cooly!"

"It was cool! It was totally better then yours!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Focus!" Both wands yelled at their respective owners.

"Issei, that thing is still draining power from you even with Twice Critical. If you don't get that thing off of you consider this fight lost!"

A lost fight! But he never….

Oh yeah, he had lost without Ruby's help. That time with the bullies. What did Kiyome say again?

" _No that's it! All that you've been relying on are luck and tricks that others have given you!" Kiyome yelled. "And look where that's gotten you! You need to be able to trick the enemy by yourself, otherwise you'll never win!"_

Trick the enemy by himself… but how? He needed a way to get this thing off him and fast, but it was useless to try and grapple it off. Ack, he wished he could boost again so he could have more time!

….Wait, what happened when he used Twice Critical the first time an idea came to his mind.

"Ruby," He said, not even looking away from the girl that was dragging him through the skies. "I need you to load all the power you got into her Sacred Gear."

"Oh! A classic strategy! Good thinkin Issei!" Ruby exclaimed. "Ready to go in three, two, one!"

"Hey Sapphire!" He roared. "You want my power faster, take all of it!"

A jolt of pure power went up Absorption Line as it shook with all the energy Ruby was feeding into it through Issei. It hurt like hell, but it was the only way he could think of that could defeat her.

"GAHHHHHHHHHH!" Sapphire screamed, blood dripping out of her mouth as she stopped before falling to the ground.

"Saji!" Her wand screamed, a magic circle beginning to surround them slowing her fall.

"It's like I thought." Issei commented out loud. "She can only handle so much power, otherwise it actively hurts her."

"The same goes for you." Ruby mentioned. "Now, don't you need to check up on her?"

"Oh! Right!"

Issei soward as fast as he could to where the girl was falling before grabbing her and descending to the ground. A glow of golden light began to surround her before she transformed into a boy around Issei's age.

"Oh wow! Sapphire sure picked a cute owner, but I think she looked better as a magical girl, don't you think so too, Issei?" Ruby perked up, but was given no answer as Issei put him on the ground.

"Dispel my transformation." He said quietly.

"You okay, Issei?"

"It's just… it's just…"

"Just what?"

"...I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE FORCED TO BE LIKE THIS! WOOT WOOT!" Issei cheered. Transformation dispelling with a reluctant sigh from Ruby.

"Huh?" Saji groaned, coming to his senses before being greeted to the sight of Issei dancing like a maniac. "What happened?"

"I won, that's what!" Issei exclaimed. "Hahaha!"

Saji was silent for a few seconds before his eyes widened. "You're Ruby's partner?"

"I was tricked into it." Issei admitted, calming down from his cheer. "You're Saji, right?"

"Saji. Genshirou, Saji." He replied. "And it's good to know I'm not the only one who was tricked into this."

"Ahem," Ruby interrupted. "Aren't you boys forgetting something?"

"The Class Card!" Issei exclaimed, beginning to run before slowing down as he noticed Saji wasn't moving. "...Aren't you going to go get the card?"

"Nah, you won after all." Saji declared. "Besides, it would be a miracle if you could get a Card who kicked your but to work."

"I was going to win!"

"Were not!"

"Was too…" Issei grumbled before he set off to where the card was.

It was glowing softly on the ground a few feet away from Saji. He gently picked it up before holding it high in the air.

 **Class Card** _ **GET!**_

"Hey Issei!" Ruby called. "The mirror world is vanishing!"

He knew that, but he didn't care. All he did was just stare at the Class Card in his hands before he looked up at the collapsing world around him.

"Well Saji," He spoke to the empty air. "The hunt for the Class Cards has really begun. Don't think I'm going to lose to you."

 _And with that, he pocketed the card and began to trek back to Ruby._

* * *

 **And so two rivals have met.**

 **I don't have much else to say. No excuse for the long wait either. Well, hope you enjoyed it. Shinji?**

 _ **I was busy getting my head pulped by a Catholic werewolf priest with a giant cross while trying being Speedweed. Those werewolves, man.**_

 **Okay? Jesus Christ, what do you get up to when I'm not around?**

 **Well, Snake out.**


	6. Nonsense Speaker

**Episode 6: Nonsense Speaker**

If there was one thing in the world that Issei Hyoudou was sure that he'd never expect from this past month was a monkey coming down from the sky and wrecking his school.

…

No? Nothing? He was sure that would get the divine Gods' (Or God's, he didn't care at this point) attention. Regardless, he _was_ stuck in a situation from those magical girl shows that he probably should have thought to expect.

His lives were colliding. Not like you could really call his events in the supernatural a "life". They didn't happen often enough to deserve that, and he didn't want to have a life where he was female.

"And this is why Saji will be eating lunch with us." He finished, turning around to face Motohama and Matsuda. "Any questions?"

It was only a few days after the "Beach Episode" (Ruby's words, not his) and he decided that Saji should make friends with his other friends. Of course, it took him like five minutes to find him due to their classrooms being on opposite sides of the floor, but he just put that under hard effort rewards.

"Any questions?!" Matsuda yelled. "You haven't explained anything!"

Issei guessed that the reason he was upset was because Issei had grabbed them to eat lunch on the rooftop, and not the classroom where they usually ate and dragging a new guy to boot.

"Look," He growled out. "Are you letting him eat lunch with us or not?"

"Eh, why not?" Matsuda said apathetically, sitting down apathetically.

"Wait just like that?!" Saji yelled in shock. "You were just worked up about a minute ago!"

"Well you see.." Matsuda trailed off. "We have much more important matters to discuss then you. Motohama, show them."

"With pleasure Matsuda." Motohama said, pulling out his cellphone. On the monitor shown a picture of Issei (His boy form, thank god) and Kiyome sitting in the park.

Suddenly, Matsuda got up and then pointed at him dramatically, the sun shining down behind him if only to accent the announcement he was going to make. Motohama stood up and bended down on his legs before bending down and leaning himself towards the right and holding the phone to his left.

"Issei Hyoudou, what in the world were you doing with that girl!" Matsuda yelled. "You've been ditching us for her for weeks! She's your girlfriend or something, man?!"

Uh… what was the word that adults and TV used during times like this.

Oh right, shit.

Before Issei could say anything, Saji grabbed his shoulder with his fist clenched. "To think you even had a girlfriend too…. Dammit! I won't let you get further ahead of me!"

"Wait what?!" Issei shouted in shock, capturing the attention of the others on the roof. "First off, we're not dating! She's just a friend! Second of all, how long have you been practicing that pose?!"

"A few hours." Matsuda admitted, sitting back down along with Matsuda. "We just wanted to mess with you, we knew you weren't dating."

"Why!"

"You see, Issei," Motohama said with a catlike grin. "Now that people think you have a girlfriend, no girl will come up to you now. This is the punishment you must pay for ditching out us so much!"

And it was at that rare moment that Issei's sanity caught up to him and he did the only sane thing he could think of, whacking his two best friends in the head.

"Why would anyone be interested in me in the first place? We're nine!" He stated, turning around to look at Saji only to find him walking away.

"Saji? Where are you going?" He asked, running up to him.

"Unlike you Hyoudou, I have friends who don't mess with my love life." Saji said with a smirk, walking away to the exit of the roof.

"Oh come on!"

* * *

Contrary to what the two idiots he called best friends planned, no such rumour about him having a girlfriend popped up. Or at least ones he did here.

Honestly, sometimes the two of them could really get on his-

"You said that girl is going to show up soon?" Saji asked.

The two of them were waiting in the park for Kiyome. It was surprisingly empty for the afternoon on a weekday, and that was just perfect for the two of them.

"Yeah, she's the one who told me about my Sacred Gear." Issei remarked, watching Ruby and Sapphire fly around the air for a bit.

"And what the hell is a 'Sacred Gear'?" Saji asked, taking a sip of the water he bought from a local vending machine.

"Well, you know," Issei replied, trying to figure out an explanation. "Ah! It's those weird gadgets that we used in our fight! You know, Absorption Line, Twice Critical, that thing. Apparently their gifts from God or something."

"God?" Saji asked in confusion. "You mean Gods?"

"No no. God."

"But there are multiple Gods…"

"I believe he is talking about Christianity, Master Saji." Sapphire explained, coming to a halt in mid-air. "It's a big religion in the west, and is the source of holidays such as christmas."

"Eh? Oh... " Saji exclaimed, before slamming his fist against his hand as a revelation hit him. "Didn't we use to have a church for that or something? My parents mentioned how it got abandoned after the last pastor moved…"

"Yeah…" Issei spoke quietly as Ruby secretly flew up to Saji's ear.

"Issei was friends with the pastor's son." She whispered. "It's part of his backstory and drive as a main character."

It was at that moment that Issei looked up and grabbed Ruby out of the air.

"Wahhh! Issei!" She exclaimed, struggling to get free. "What did I do?!"

"I don't know why but my Ruby sense is tingling." Issei replied, looking at Ruby with a stone cold face. "And when it does, it _always_ involve you saying or doing something stupid."

"That's mean!"

"With you it's a perfectly reasonable measure!"

"I was a bit worried when you called me out of nowhere, again I might add." A new voice interrupted. "But I see that you're just acting like yourself as always."

"Kiyome!" Issei shouted, turning his head to face the newcomer. "I have a riv- no wait that's not what I meant to say at all! Dammit Ruby!"

"So," Kiyome began, completely ignoring Issei as she turned to face Saji. "Who's this?"

"Ah, that's Saji." Issei explained. "He's like me in which Ruby's sister tricked him into also… you know…"

"Hey! Let me do my own introductions!" Saji yelled, smacking Issei on the back of the head before he turned to look at Kiyome. "Saji Genshirou."

"Kiyome Abe." She said, before smirking at the blond. "So how did you get into this mess?"

"Well…"

* * *

" _Hello there Saji." A blue starred wand greeted, flying in from his window. "I regret to inform you that you have been selected as the only candidate in this area to be my partner. I hope we can-"_

" _WHY IS THERE A TALKING WAND IN MY ROOM!?"_

" _Your city is under great threat from the Class Cards. If not prevented, this whole town could be detonated at any minute."_

" _IS THIS A DREAM?!"_

" _I can assure you that this is not a dream."_

" _Wouldn't a dream say that it isn't a dream!?"_

" _If you cut yourself I can indeed prove to you that this is not a dream."_

* * *

"After that Sapphire pulled me around into battle with the Lancer Class Card and then I met Issei during the battle for the Rider Class Card." The blond admitted, trying not to get annoyed at the suppressed laughter his companions were holding in. "You should have been there it was awesome."

"You still should've made up better summoning calls!" Issei cried. "No good special move ever starts with 'Take this!'"

"What I really want to know," Kiyome interrupted, once again ignoring Issei entirely. "Is why Saphire called you the only candidate in the area."

"Ah! I can explain this one!" Ruby exclaimed, flying in between the two groups. "When we were sent out into the town, we were given a specific set of qualities to look for. Among them being nine years old, and having the feel of a dragon."

"Wait what?!" Issei yelled. "You never told me this!"

"You never asked." Ruby said, shrugging it off.

"Yes I did!"

"Well you never asked _specifically._ "

"That's enough." Kiyome said, stopping the argument before it could go on any farthur. "Since you said the feel of a dragon...Saji, what was your Sacred Gear again?"

"Eh? Oh, um, Absorption Line." Saji answered.

The group watched in silence as Kiyome pulled out her phone and began-

"Wait there's an app for this?!"

"There's an app for everything."

-Okay maybe not that silently.

"Here we are!" Kiyome exclaimed, showing the phone towards the rest of the group. "Absorption Line also known as the Black Dragon's Pulse, is one of the four Sacred Gears that is said to contain the dragon known as Vritra's soul. It's ability is to restrain and suck the power from beings or objects while also being able to transfer said power to something else."

"...Am I the only one who didn't understand a word of that?" Issei asked, only to receive a nod of agreement from Saji.

"It's okay Issei." Ruby comforted. "It's all part of the exposition that is not meant for your ears."

"...Then who is it mean-"

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know."

"Great! Now that we have everything settled out." Kiyome interrupted cheerfully. "Who wants to see a Beast Tamer at work?"

* * *

The river Kiyome had brought the group to was on the outskirts of town, far away from any prying eyes. It was calm, surrounded by plenty of trees and rocks that formed a beautiful scenery that any photographer would die for…

If it wasn't for the turtle like thing that stood in the middle of a river.

It was green, it was mean, but it was not a killing machine. In fact, it looked right out as a supernatural version of a hipster. A worn out cap laid backwards on some heads while a pair of shades rested on it's eyes. As a radio layed out on the shore and beat music, it was a wonder no one had found this place already.

"Hey hey hey! Kiyome! If it isn't a pleasure to see you." It said, before noticing the two boys behind her. "And it looks like _someone_ is getting busy."

"Ahaha! It's not like that Mr. Kappa." Kiyome replied, before turning to face Issei and Saji. "This is Issei Hyoudou and Saji Genshirou. They just found themselves into the world of the beasts and I thought I'd show them what's out there. Since today just happens to be the day we meet…"

"I got you girl." The kappa replied. "Well boys. My name's not important, but my soul? My soul you can call Green Waters. Now let me tell you all about life on the flip side."

"Oh please don't tell me he's going to rap…" Saji grumbled, leaning over to Issei. "If he does, we split on three."

"Are you kidding me?! Kiyome will kill us so hard we will die to death if we leave." Issei whispered back.

Green Waters inserted a CD into the radio and a new beat began to play, sending a chill down the nearby human's sound while sending Ruby into hysterical laughter.

And then he began to rap, by gods did he begin to rap. It was _horrible._ Every note sent a knife into the listener's heart and his rhymes was like static, a horrible noise that had no rhyme or reason. If Issei could rate this on a scale of horrible experiences he would rate this as number two.

Number one was meeting Ruby, of course.

Every inch of his body was telling him to get out of there, but his ingrained fear of Kiyome told him to stay put on fear of loss of masculinity. Again.

And thus, in the face of such horrible music, Issei stopped thinking.

* * *

Rocks were hard, Issei realized as he approached consciousness once more. Very, very, hard.

He blearily opened his eyes only to find Kiyome staring back over him, the sun shining over her through the trees in an afternoon haze.

"How…." He mumbled out to the confusion of Kiyome. "How could music be so bad?"

"Well… aha… we all have our quirks." Kiyome replied, looking off to the side to stare at Saji where he laid on the ground, still out cold. "He's been… working on it. And no, that is not what life's like on the 'flipside'."

"Never," Issei began. "Never say flipside again."

"Yeah…" Kiyome smiled sadly, not turning to face Issei. "This… is not turning out how I wanted to at all."

"How did you expect it to turn out?" Issei asked, sitting up and dusting off the tiny rocks. "The two of us being wowed at your skills as a beast tamer?"

"Maybe?" She replied. "You're a magical girl, I wanted to impress you for once."

"...You're impressed by me?" Issei asked scrutiny.

"You change genders to go save the town from impending doom with a magic stick at your side." Kiyome replied blankly. "Compared to that I don't really do that much."

"Are you kidding?! You're cool all on your own!" Issei exclaimed. "You get to meet all kinds of creatures like some sort of pokemon trainer! Do you know how cool that is?!"

"In some sense yeah but…" Kiyome sighed. "I have to keep up with my duties as the Abe family heir, and my father is away from home more often than not. There's a lot of weight on me…"

"Eh… Oh! I know this!" Issei yelled, realizing he knew this from the amount of anime crap Ruby shoved into his brain. He looked over at Kiyome before giving a thumbs up with a bright smile. "I still believe in you! You can do it! Just be yourself!"

"Um…. thanks?" Kiyome asked bewildered. "Let's.. let's just go home."

"Don't forget to check out my mixtape!" Green Waters yelled from further down the river.

If they could, Kiyome and Issei could be sweating rivers right now.

"Let's." Issei agreed, hurriedly rousing Saji up from his slumber.

* * *

"Issei stop." Ruby said seriously, pausing the group as soon as they had left the confines of the river. The batch of trees before them separated them from town and it felt like an entirely different world right at that moment. "A Class Card has awakened here."

"Now?!" Issei yelled before turning to look at the others. "You ready Saji?"

"As ready as I ever will be." He replied cracking his knuckles.

"Hey… Issei." Kiyome began. "I'm sorry that I can't help out more. So I'll just hope and pray for your success.."

"Eh? Don't worry Kiyome!" Issei shouted before grabbing Ruby and transforming into his Kaleido mode. "A hero never loses!"

And then the world exploded into a kaleidoscope as it twisted and turned, until he and Saji were gone entirely, leaving Kiyome there in the woods by herself.

"Idiot." She mumbled. "Dammit, I need to find someway to help…."

And with that she left the woods, alone to mull over her thoughts.

* * *

The woods were silent. There was no sign of any Class Card yet but that didn't stop Issei from being on alert. It reminded him of his battle with archer in some way, not knowing who or where the enemy was going to strike.

"Hey Saji." The now girl whispered, to her blue clad partner. "Any sign of it?"

"Nope." She, he, whatever replied. "You think it must be hiding?"

"Master Saji, I have reason to suspect that we are facing Assassin." Sapphire spoke from Saji's hands. "It would be best to keep on guard, as they are known to have Presence Concealment."

And right at that moment, Saji whipped his head around to dodge a thrown knife.

"Get ready Issei!" Ruby yelled. "I suspect that this servant is going to be… _interesting_."

As if on cue, black figures with a cracked mask began to come out of every nook and cranny the girls could think of.

"Sapphire." Saji gulped. "About how many do you think there are?"

"Estimating 88 master." Sapphire said, to the relief of the two boys.

"Hey Saji." Issei called out, summoning his sacred gear with a grin. "Wanna make this a competition?"

"You're on!" Saji replied hotly. "One who kills the most wins!"

"Bring it!" Issei yelled before flying right into one direction of the trees, quickly dodging the thrown knives and firing back bullets of his own.

"Don't think you can beat me!" Saji yelled, from the distance before the sound of explosions came that way.

"You think we can do it Ruby?" Issei asked, before unleashing his fearsome homing bullets into the woods around him.

"Of course Issei! With me at your side, there's nothing we can't do!" Ruby responded.

"Well let's kick it up a notch! **Twice Critical!** " Issei yelled, only to receive a **[BOOST]** from his gauntlet as power surged through him.

They came to him like lambs to the slaughter, trying to overwhelm him with numbers as he weaved through the knives being thrown at him to fire more homing bullets.

The woods steadily grew thinner as the enemies began to become thinner. He didn't know for how long he had been fighting. All he knew was his ever growing kill count to these assassins. However…

"Ruby?" He asked before dodging another spread of knives. "How can these people be heroes?"

It seemed like such an impossibility to him. It was so different from the green hooded Archer, the white Alice, and the pirate captain.

"They're a group Issei." Ruby responded. "They made their mark on the world as a group and not as an individual. Alone they are weak but together, they are strong. So why don't you show them the power of a true hero."

A… True hero huh? One who had made their mark on the world. Something about that struck something within Issei.

" _You change genders to go save the town from impending doom with a magic stick at your side." Kiyome replied blankly. "Compared to that I don't really do that much."_

Maybe… just maybe… he could be all they had to look up to. Stories, and not that far away goal.

Issei reached into the pouch on the side of his legs before bringing out a Class Card. It was different from what Ruby told him to do but… he knew this was right.

"Class Card: Caster _**Include!**_ " He shouted, pushing the card into Ruby and suddenly he could feel it, as the Ruby faded into himself he knew what he had to do. He was certain that nothing changed physically but all of a sudden he could _see_.

He could see, and he could will. And so he willed the world to attack the Assassins, and the world did so. The true nature of Caster was now at his fingertips, and he smiled for he knew.

In this instance, he was not the hero but the reader, with the story answering to his will and denying reality to him.

He watched as the world morphed, as the trees began to attack the assassins. They fell into the masses, until he knew there was only one left. One final enemy to face.

He watched the world wrapped around that one foe until a red light streaked through the sky and strike the enemy down. It blew up in a surge of light, only thing left was a single card.

"Okay." Saji said as he glided down to the card. "That's cheating."

"Caster, **Uninclude**." Issei whispered, feeling the card dispel out of him and- woah okay that's dizzying.

He slowly drifted over to where Saji stood next to the card and collapsed onto the ground.

"Remind me." He spoke through gasps. "Never to use the Caster card again."

Ugh, that was the most creepiest thing he had ever experienced. Just, ugh.

"Well, I think we know who won that one so can I get the card?" Saji asked, helping up Issei to his feet. "I got the final blow afterall."

"Sure…" Issei spoke, falling down only for Saji to catch him.

"Woah! Okay you need rest!" Saji yelled, walking Issei over to the Class Card and picking it up himself. "It's bad if you wear yourself out after all!"

 **Class Card** _ **GET!**_

"Yeah…" Issei said as the world around him seemed to lose it's color. "Rest… rest sounds nice."

" _Go to sleep Issei." Ruby spoke softly. "The pain of others can wait for one more day."_

* * *

 **Well… that took a while, and went some strange places. Also marks the first time a non-Extra Servant has shown up.**

 _Well, this took a while. So, went on a bizarre adventure lately? Huh? :v_

 **SNAKE OUT! HAPPY NEW YEARS!**

 **...For me at least.**


End file.
